childhood lost? or is it….

I and rane are discovering the joys of urban childhood. Having spent our childhood in a small town (small town, placewise and 15 years ago, timewise), without any arcades etc..we are doing everything to fill that hole.

First is the bumper ride or the dashing car. We have so much fun there…we gang up and bang the hell out of small kids. Even an auntie who was on childhood rediscovery herself, got real bangs from both of us. But inside the ring their is such camaraderie, no one really minds, infact most enjoy the attention. And when I banged into someone, my smile always got reflected back. What else…i love bumpy cars.

With this kindergarten project taking away my saturdays, treks are out of question. So these are the only tid bits of unadulterated joy we can have,…… without using alchohol that is.

Some of the other plans we have for the coming weekends….

1)Role playing: one of us will be a shiekh and the other his assitant. Shiekh would talk arabic sounding gibberish to the assistant, which the assistant would translate.
Another scenario is, elder brother and mentally retarded young man. And so on….

2)We are going to buy a stock of toys and board games. Infact yesterday i made him huy me a balloon umbrella, which i then used to make the small kids jealous of. But one girl was so cute, even I did’nt have the hardness of heart needed to do that.

3)Get a video camera, and document all this.




I am desperate. Its been around 1.5 years since I have been crashing around with friends. I need a space to call my own.
Oh I getting some mid-twenties syndrome.


Kajra Re Kajra ReSSSSSS

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1024 X 768

Here are two wallpapers, which I made more for the purpose of polishing my rusty hands. If you need it for any other resolution kindly request.

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red and blue baloons in red and blue buckets

Baloons, butterflies, balls, are the things in my mind these days. My project has started. It’s a multimedia learning/playing tool for 3-5 year olds. Very challenging, i have to read a lot. Found a lot of books in the central library. Also found out that HCI has a younger sibling, which is also around 3 years old. Called CCI, or children’s computer interaction.

Have to learn a lot in the next few days. And may have to attend some classes, kindergarten classes. I am horrified.


MIFF-2006 (part 2)

Though MIFF is still going on, since my work has started I could’nt go there today. But the last 3-4 days have been phenomenal. All the movies that I saw inspired me. A few were very good. And some were really really bad. And these i thanks these bad film makers in making me believe I could do it 5 times better.

Discovered a great finnish documentary maker Lasse Naukkarinen. He uses such a easy flowing, non rushed style, poetic at times, i did’nt know documentaries could be made like that. And the music he uses is so powerful, almost always finnish music, which was another of my discoveries.

These are the rest of the movies i could catch:

Selected fiction – a non linear short film, very funny, and shot like a documentary.


Women, Bukkets, Guzzlers and condoms with tarun chick- a amateurish but interesting school project.

Good news

Alone in tehran- a iranian documentary with no subtitles, and lots of dialogue, took a small nap.

Once upon a time there was utopia- a classic documentary by Lasse Naukkrinen. Shows the turbulent times of 60-70s. Political as well as cultural.

Monkey business – NID student project. (music rocked, soundtrack had altaf raza songs)

ARK – NID student project again, i do not remember what it was abt though.

BIrthday boy – this was from the oscar winners package, short film.

The red jacket- Again an oscar winner, and one hell of a short film.

Ferry tales – oscar winner (forgot wiw abt)

Holy men and fools – A firang goes in search of esoteric ascetic knowledge. His guides are a naga sadhu, Vashisht Giri, fluent in english, and very sauve. And a swedish model (now old and wrinkled) who came here in the 70s and dint return. also had some very graphic scenes of giri tying a langot. Would be interesting for a firang to watch.

Health matters – A documentary deploring indias worsening health facilities …

Baba black beard – a god short film, with a kid as the lead character. what was so great was that, it used the kid’s natural responses. could be called a docu – fiction.

kinjal – NId student project abt a girl named kinjal. abt gender bias etc…

Bhugol – awefully bad movie. again a NID student project.

Train of zero o clock – iranian documentary of azerbaizani refugees who know live in scrao wailway bogies.

School in the corner – About a school run by a retired iranian teacher for afghani refugee children. These kids do not have any valid papers and are denied admission into regular schools.

Christine – this was really amazing. Documentary abt a iranian woman know 40 years old, who was adopted by a swedish couple when she was some months old. The couple dint let her know she was adopted. When she started learning biology and came to know that two people with blue eyes cannot have a brown eyed child, she confronted her parents who told her she was iranian. Finally when she was 40 years old and was financially stron she decided to find her real parents. Advertisements in local iranian papers got an amazing response. Not one but around 30 set of parents claimed her as their own. And who wouldnt want a wealthy american citizen(shes know an american) as their daughter. The whole narrative was very interesting.

Roses for you, & Somebody to dance with – short films by lasse nauk… and very good.

Artist’s life – documentary showing how the artistic talents of his 3 year old son evolved. His son is really interesting. Lasse’s wife is an animator which makes their house into a artists den.

Asylum – documntry abt people who for some reason or other come to US in need of asylum.


AFSPA, 1958

AFSPA stands for “Armed Forces Special Powers”. You may remember the media coverage over the murder of a woman named Manorama, in manipur. The documentary was about the events following her murder.

This rape and murder was like the last straw, which broke the Manipuri women’s endurance. Any group of people which has unlimited power and no one to answer to, becomes a monster. So has the “Indian army” stationed there with their AFSPA shield become a monster. Sadly what I saw made me think so.

What strikes is the absurdity…courage?…anger…brutality..when one sees a group of 20 kids with a few teenagers take on vans of police, rpf with tear gas, lathis and even guns with just catapults. David and goliath is what came to mind. Even the staunchest “patriot” / “army supporter” would get ashamed.

Why are these people so angry?
There has to be a very strong reason for ladies to stand naked in front of the assam rifles headquarters. With a banner which reads “Come rape us Indian Army”. With guards hiding themselves behind bushes, not having guts enough to disperse them.

When they hold up banners of, “Go back to India”, a question pops up “are they not in India?”. What have we done to alienate them…..or maybe what have’nt we done?

A group of college students decide to use Gandhi’s teaching of civil disobedience. WIth placards on their chest with a “arrest us” they march up to the police station. WHat they get is merciless lathi charge without any provocation.

They burnt “indian goods”, cartons of bisleri, maaza..etc. It was very nostalgic, the whole documentary …bringing to memory black and white images at 16 frames per second of our own independence struggle. Is there really any difference?

I want as many people to see this documentary. I have mailed the director to send me a cd. I am ready to buy it, solely that i can lend it to friends ..upload it on servers , make as many people to see them. If you want to contact the director his email id is haobampaban{at}



The movies that i saw today:

AFSPA, 1958
Home delivery
Ascetic Eye
Keep not silent
The little thing that u do
If u pause
Ten feet tall
Aamachi Kasauti
Lasting Breaths
Sougnameh Sarzamin Nimrouz

And i am going there tomorrow too in the morning, for more.


Acoustic Dusk

I am high.

2 pegs of whiskey, a beer and some grass.

And i am happy ….the new breed has some enthu.. lots of junta at least try …thats the spirit freshie band actually performed “Hallowed be thy name”…..

when i was in class 4…I was in a school where class 1-4 where in the morning slotand 5-8 were in the afty schedule..

I remember a scene vivid in my mind….ii must have been class 4 …a class 1 freshie….HA HAAAAA…freshie was not a term i kneww back then ….i was playing in the school playground….when this cute class oneITE…came in frnt…he was very cute …and his zip was open …he reminded of my own brother then…..i wanted to button up his zip then …i dont know what prevented me then…maybe my introvert self…or whatever …i dint do anything…

I saw that guy again …after 15 or so years …he’s no kid know…has a bank of america job…

And being high and all i told him of my memory of his….
And what he told me ……Someone had stuffed grass inside his shorts that day,,,,some idiot….
and he thought that guy was me …

probability maan …..what are the chances…i dont know if he believes i did it ,,,,

But that was one of the very few times i saw innocence…….